No, this is not for that TV show about coming out. Masyado kaming pretty para maging lesbian no!hahaha:) Me and my bestfriend Marie.
A KODAK MOMENT in the life of JP

Me and my best friend for 10 years, Cherie.
A KODAK MOMENT in the life of JP

My second family, the Biocares at Starbucks Tomas Morato.
A KODAK MOMENT in the life of JP

Me and my mother hen...
A KODAK MOMENT in the life of JP

I took this picture at the Malagos Garden Resort in Davao City. Ang sweet nila no?!:)
A KODAK MOMENT in the life of JP

28

Last Saturday, my Tita Baby (my only tita on my mother’s side and my second mom), gave birth to her fourth and last child. In line with the tradition that her children’s names start with a J, the baby was named Janna Marie. Janna came from me, while my mom thought of the name Marie because it’s Mama Mary’s birthday on the 8th of this month.

My intro really doesn’t have anything to do with what I’m going to write about. I’m just excited about the new baby in the family, the new bunso among us cousins, who will be added to my list of inaanaks. Pinsan na, inaanak pa! Swerte ng batang ito!:)

Come to think of it, it has a connection anyway. We were joking at the hospital that I’m old enough to be the mom of the baby. Then, the conversation went from the baby to the husband to the boyfriend. A boyfriend that I don’t have right now and never really had in my entire single life.

Suddenly, a family friend who was also visiting my tita, thought of a sort of “panghuhula” scheme to know what age I’m going to marry. It’s hard to explain the procedure but the materials were just his ring and a strand of my hair. I knotted the hair to the ring, gave him the strand of hair with the ring (reminds me of a pendulum set-up in high school physics), and he started moving the “pendulum” up and down on top of the palm of my left hand, while counting from 1 to 23. Apparently, the ring will move, even turn around, at the age that you are supposed to marry. I was laughing, and I told him that if we reach forty and the ring still doesn’t show signs of movement, we should just stop. But to our surprise, the ring went in circular motions when the counting reached 28! The whole procedure was repeated (with a different hair strand to boot!), and again, it was 28.

I was baffled. I’ve always thought I would marry later than twenty eight, if I would ever marry at all! I know I should not believe that crap. But still, it makes me wonder. Hey, twenty eight is just five years away. I don’t think five years is enough for me to get to know someone that well to think of marrying him. I don’t know. I even see myself still single in middle age, enjoying luxurious spas and designer clothes. Mala-sex in the city minus the sex part, I’d like to be celibate..hehe).

Don’t get me wrong, one of my greatest dreams is to become a mom and have someone to hold my hand when I grow old. But at the rate I’m going, I’m slowly preparing myself to one of my biggest fears, being single forever. Though I hate to admit it, I’m afraid of growing old alone. I’m afraid I’ll make the same mistakes my mother did. Well, she’s not really alone, she has me and my brother. But it’s still different if you have someone by your side, someone who will hold your hand in silence, someone who will watch the sun set with you, someone who will read to you your life story if you ever get sick of Alzheimer’s disease (Sounds familiar? I just watched “The Notebook”..hehehe:)).

I’m trying to keep the tears from falling. I’ve always wanted a family of my own, because I was frustrated with the one I have. But looking at my life right now, it seems that I am not going in that direction. I have the makings of an old maid. I’d rather be a single mom, instead of a spinster.

Much as I was stupefied by the result of that “crap”, I was relieved. If it’s true (and it became true to most people I talked to who did the test), then I would be able to fulfill that dream I had since childhood. Maybe I will get to wear a white traje de boda after all. Maybe I will get to walk down the aisle. Maybe I will find that someone whom I would want to spend the rest of my life with. And we will live happily ever after.

But then again, it could be crap.